1 month later...

Exactly 1 month ago I wrote my last blog post about the hooker who wanted my husbands attention.  Well it seems fitting that since I had another run in with her today at the pool I share it with my dear friends.

D & I decided it would be nice to  have a relaxing day by the pool.  5 minutes after getting there Donald rolls over and said "Here comes your friend".  In comes the Kim Kardashian look a like who will from now on only be referred to as "the stripper".  She is again not wearing enough clothing, inappropriate shoes, but this I have come to expect from her.  We can immediately tell that she has been drinking.  It is obvious from her facial expressions and her incoherent speech.  She hasn't even made it to her seat yet and she is screaming at another pool patron.  Every other word is F**k this and F**k that.  The stripper continues to yell about her clothing and that she didn't need to impress this girl.  It was a fantastic fight that kept us all entertained.  Finally the stripper struts to her seat where she begins her playboy moves to get everyones attention.  She continues to refill that tell-tell red cup and she just gets drunker.  She sits near a few older women who are able to calm her down.... for awhile.

Nearly an hour later as D & I were considering leaving.  I look over and she has straddled her boyfriend.  All the parents at the pool are visibly upset.  The fondling and the touching continues...  They then get in the pool. Most people have to pay for porn like this, but it was free to all involved.  12-13 year old boys are lining up to watch.  Parents are pulling there kids out of the pool.  Finally someone calls and notifies our apartment complex.  

15 minutes later an official Bigelow Commons pool monitor appears and begins checking pool passes.  In an effort to keep the hood rats that live next to us from invading our pools you are required to get a pool pass proving you live there.  Its usually not a very big deal, but its there way of kicking someone out of the pool.  Finally the pool monitor makes it over to the stripper and all hell breaks loose.  They don't have a pool pass and are told they have to leave.  She absolutely looses it and starts screaming "F**k you, white trash whore.  Are you saying I don't make enough money to use the pool?  I pay 1300 dollars a month to live here,  Do you know how much money I have? Do you want to see my paycheck?  Do you know what kind of car I drive"

Pause for Jessa's thoughts.... What does having alot of money have to do with not having to follow the rules?  Truthfully they were just looking for a reason to throw her out.  She looked like a tramp, she was having sex with her boyfriend by the pool, they just wanted her out.  But nothing makes you want to feel bad for someone who uses their money to justify bad behavior....

Ok back to the story...

The screaming continues.  The pool attendant is telling them that they have to leave.  The boyfriend is grabbing his stuff, but the stripper isn't standing for it.  She continues her screaming and the fight has escalated.  Two more girls have jumped in to try to talk her down.  Next thing we see the stripper has thrown her drink in the face of the pool attendant.  Her boyfriend has completely left her standing there. As he is leaving a big guy jumps in and tells him that he has to get his girl out of there. The boyfriend tackles, grabs the stripper, and carries her out kicking & screaming.  Her feet literally don't touch the feet.  If she could have I think she would have murdered that poor pool attendant.  The man sitting next to us calls the cops.  They had all been mouthing that someone needed to, but by the time she began assaulting the pool attendant he finally stepped up. We finally left as 2 cops were entering her apartment hopefully to take her to the loony bin.   I think it is probably safe to assume that by next week she will no longer be a Bigelow resident.


Which will make Donald and I sad since we will loose our entertainment.
Never a dull moment...

You probably think you're cooler than me...

I can't always be nice.  It is possible to actually make me mad.  It takes a lot but it isn't a pretty sight.

 Last night Donald and I enjoyed a wonderful evening relaxing by the pool... or at least that was the plan.  We get down there and the first thing I notice is this Kim Kardashian wanna-be.  She is decked out to the T.  Perfectly tan skin, she is wearing a one piece bathing suit with cut outs guaranteeing it shows way more than any two piece I have ever warn in my life.  Every move she makes is a perfectly calculated maneuver to show as much skin as possible.  She is wearing heels to the pool.  But lets give her the benefit of the doubt.   I'm sure that was just a coincidence.  3 inch stilettos were the only appropriate footwear she could find.

As time continues it becomes more and more obnoxious.  She has the attention of every person at the pool... except Donald.  I would like to say its because he is so perfect that he would never faultier but truth is he has been lost in a bubble breaker game for the last week.  I could have been hit by a bus and he wouldn't even notice.  But today it probably saved his life today.   She was boy who is just fanning over her, but she keeps looking over at D and I.  Finally she bends over to take her shoes off.  And does what I can imagine to be her best playboy pose... problem is she is about 3 inches from my husbands face.

I'm not particularly proud of what happened next and if you could not tell my grandmother that would be awesome.  I want her to go on believing I am the good southern girl she raised me to be.  But I pulled out a move that was straight out of a movie... it looked a lot like this.

That's actually not true.  I didn't  tackle the girl just yet...  I let the pain continue.
As she is walking by us to get to the pool she tells her love interest of the moment that "I just couldn't wear a bikini today, I am just too fat."  Then with a side glance at me she adds that "not everyone knows when they shouldn't be wearing something".

I really regret not tackling her at that exact moment but instead I grabbed my stuff and retreated inside.

So here is what I should have said...
I go on telling myself after hours in the gym, I can look like that.
After hours in a tanning bed (and lots of skin cancer), I can look like you.
I can get my boobs redone every 2 years, to look like you.
But you will always be a hateful b***h.  No surgery will fix that.
And my guess that whatever "wonderful" man gets "lucky" enough to be with you, will leave you as soon as you start looking old.  And then, I will be laughing.

So I will wish the years to speed up for her, lots of fat cells, cellulite, and stretch marks.  It couldn't happen to a more deserving person.

Divorce Court...

Maybe its lame but I have a secret love affair with watching Divorce Court.  It makes me feel better about my life. I rarely actually catch it on tv but today I happened to be home to see it. 

Best part of my day....

A couple was getting divorced.   The lady comes before the judge laying out her case.  Her chief complaint against her "husband"? "He bought a truck I can't drive.  I don't know how to drive a standard".  Call me crazy but this seems like a really bad reason to call off a marriage.  Brilliant idea:  LEARN TO DRIVE A STANDARD... or..... BUY A NEW VEHICLE!

Wow.  Common Sense is a rare commodity. 

Open Ended Letter...

Dear Arkansas Rural Endowment Fund,
Please jump in a creek. I continue to find dealing with you to be a real pain in the rear.  Today I received the first statement from you in months.  It came on the same day as a a nasty gram stating I wasn't paying my bills.  How do you expect me to pay a bill when you don't send it to me until it is passed due?  You are absolutely ridiculous.   I can't wait to pay you off so you can torture someone else.
Thats all.

lacking

If you are one of the 5 people who reads my blog you are probably expecting something witty, funny, or intelligent.  
Well this has been a week of extreme frustration, confusion and bitterness so I am  lacking in the humor department.  So instead I will only post something I read today that made me feel a little bit better.  




"You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger but you always have a choice. The only real healing and comfort you’re going to get is by looking to the Lord and trusting Him with your situation, painful as it is."




So there you have it.  Sorry for the lack of wit.  Come back next week.  I'll think of something funny or at least look up a knock knock joke. 

I'm not just lucky I'm blessed....

"I am not wealthy enough..."

Did you know?

• If you make more than $2 a day you are among the top income earners on the planet
• If you own a car, you are among the 3% in the world who do.
• If you earn $37,000 a year you are in the top 4% of the wealthiest people in the world.
• If you make $45,000 a year you are in the top 1% of the wealthiest people in the world.

Finances seem to be a topic that have been haunting me lately.  There have been alot of tough decisions D & I have been struggling with in this area.  It is easy to get discouraged.  We live in one of the richest states in the US.  I am consistantly sorrounded by other peoples material wealth and truthfully I get jealous.  I don't drive a new BMW, I don't own a house, and my furniture doesn't match.  My prayers over this part of my life had begun to get frantic. 

Sunday at church the message was life altering.  I don't usually make such a bold statement but it was truly an answer to my prayers.  The whole message was about giving.  The statement was made that we to often think "I'm not wealthy enough to give".   I very quickly realized that I needed a paradim shift.  I not only own a car, I have 2 cars.  I make way more than $2 a day. By worldly standards I am one of the wealthiest people in the world. 

All the sudden I am very calm.  So what if we need to sell one of our cars?  We still have one.  So what if my furniture doesn't match.  So what if we had to cut back on our cable.  I don't know the numbers on cable but I bet the starving kids in Africa don't have 250 channels.   I am blessed to have these kinds of problems.  These are rich people problems. 

A Year in the Making....

I have really fallen down on my blogging duties.  My only excuse?   I have had the bubonic plague for the last week and a half.  It should be noted that I am a horrible patient.  I am miserable and whiny.  I make little noises and cry.  And I get extremely lazy.  The only positive to this whole sickness is to see how D has handled it.  The first 3 days when I ran an insane temp he made multiple runs to CVS to get the appropriate meds.  He provided at least 2 meals a day.  By day 4, I was experiencing problems breathing.  A cough combined with asthma doesn't usually equal good health.  The feeling of not being able to breath then triggered a panic attack which compounded the situation.  D sat up all night to make sure I kept breathing.  The genuine concern he showed was impressive.  In addition he has cleaned, done laundry, and taken on all the responsibilities I usually handle. He has stepped up to the plate in a huge way.  I am slowly recovering.  I would say the Health-o-meter is at about 75%.

The other thing that sucks about being sick?  Its expensive.  Between a trip to the doctor, 3 prescriptions, and about 5 over the counter meds. Not to mention the amount of takeout that was ordered because I couldn't make myself cook.

Friday marked the 1 year anniversary of D & I's engagement.  It is amazing to look at how much has changed in just a year.  We have turned our lives upside down then tried to straighten them both out.  I won't say we have it all down just yet.  We seem to keep hitting some stumbling blocks.  As of now there really isn't any end in sight.  We are in a time of uncertainty as to how things are going to turn out.  But I'm  excited.  There is enough uncertainly to leave me terrified, but then enough clarity to remind me that God has it under control.
" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


I'm super proud of my husband.  He is out making things happen with his career.  He has taken advantage of some great opportunities and is in the process of making big things happen.  Sometimes I sit in amazement.  He has such a bright future.  I don't think he can always see it but there are big things coming for him. 


In this relationship, my role is to worry.  I am the one who stays up at night worrying it won't all work out the way we need it to.  Donald is the trusting one.  He trusts it to all will work out.  I need to be more like him.  


I find that I have to daily remind myself that Peter walked on water.  And he only started to sink when his faith failed.  Walking on water was an impossible task, but one he was able to do while he was faithful.  My life is much like that.  It may seem impossible but with Gods help it will happen as long as I believe.

There you have it.  That is what is going on with the "Connecticut Staves".  Well at least that is the version told by Jessa & Cough Syrup.  A fantastic combination.
I will leave you with a picture from my birthday.  Perfect Day.