Today God hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Occasionally in my life God has whispered to me, occasionally when He really wants my attention he taps me on the shoulder. But today He used a baseball bat to stop me in my tracks...
Let me explain.
I have a customer at work, who hates me. For whatever series of events or mishaps or hurt feelings she has decided not to like me. And as a result she lashes out at me in ways that are very painful. Sometimes I truly believe her goal is to see me cry, thus far she has not succeeded, but she definitely shakes me up.
I have let her attitude cause my outlook to change. I have developed a deep dislike for this individual. I despise dealing with her, and I think mean things whenever I am forced to encounter her. Tomorrow I will be in a meeting with her as well as several other people including my boss. So I am again going to be facing the dragon.
Last night, while talking to my mom, she pointed out I need to pray for her. She obviously is a hurt person. Well the "human" part of me doesn't want to. Why waste my time? She is the one who obviously has issues. She is the one that needs to talk to God. Obviously I'm the sane one in this equation. But last night, I sat down to try to pray for her. It was a very shallow prayer about making her nicer, make whatever burden she is caring easier because it will make my life easier.
But today I stumbled across a sermon on my ipod I hadn't listened to since 2005. Andy Stanley Breakaway Part 3 (just in case you need to look it up). Andy is digging into some huge basic truths we need to accept and use to have a breakaway life.
They are incredibly simple yet powerful...
The first was, God knows what is best for me better than I know what is best for me, another was God is up to something in my life.
The third one really spoke to me. EVERYONE you deal with is someone that is important to God. On the surface sure that makes sense (This was the whisper).... Imagine "Jesus loves the little children" going thru my head. This is basic stuff. But he continues talking about the people you encounter are so important that Jesus died to save them. Ok... Getting a little clearer. (this was probably the tap on my shoulder).
Finally... he went on to talk about how it was actually impossible to truly love God when you hate someone he loves. ***BASEBALL BAT***
I talk a good game. I felt like I even walk a pretty good walk. But in this area I have fallen flat on my face.
I realize this will be a hard one to overcome. But tomorrow when I walk into that meeting, I will try to look at her with the eye that God loves her.
I realize I won't like every person I encounter, its human nature. But that is a problem with me. I need to work on that.
She really isn't the problem in this equation. Its me.
Talk about having a headache...
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